Posts
...ate the bloody midge.
Showing posts with label nonsense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nonsense. Show all posts
you are not allowed to complain...
...if you didn't pinch the barb.
-Alex who reminds you to yank quickly.
I always knew that dude from Krull was a sicko.
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| cyclops bull shark... via chum. |
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| beastialitor? |
-Alex who will be trying to figure out how to work in a "do you want to see my one-eyed bull shark fetus?" at the bar tonight.
things...
...all the while neglecting the most basic necessities of any fresh water fly collection.
The bugger is a staple and most likely the first thing you shakily stumbled through on a borrowed vise, forgoing the whip-finish for just a big blob of superglue. Everything eats buggers. I am low on buggers.
Thing #1 - tying buggers.
I like the name. MOTHERSHIP. It has incalculably size and potential, pushing through the interstellar nothingness at two-third the speed of light.
At a predetermined date the flight computer will fire the auxiliary thrusters and rotate the craft one-hundred-and-eighty degrees to begin the deceleration burn. The main drives will fire for eight years, slowing the ship to running speed before the flight crew is woken to make preparations for entering your mouth.
It is tasty in my mouth. Especially with spring rolls.
Thing #2 - drinking beer.
He stands holding his little blind dog, slippers kicking around the dust telling you about residents in the neighborhood steeling money from the dresser draws of dead people, about his "nigger friends" because "that's how we used to say it down south", about how young folk can't name any of the supreme court justices and that people used to know things.
You nod and contribute the occasional "yeah" or "un huh" and think about the fact that the new issue of BloodKnot is out and you would like to check it out but you may never get the chance. You make your move and start slowly backing away towards the sanctity of your carport.
The Blue Collar Issue.
Thing #3 - reading BloodKnot.
Stick that in your schema and smoke it.
The End.
-Alex who needs to clean his bathroom but did all these things instead.
Top 10?
Awesome!
Due to our enjoyment of fishing, and drinking we have made the top ten best fly fishing websites for the fellas at The Daily Hunt and Fish.
As they say,
"Their fat, their fun, their a bit crude, and they love to fish. This is what blogging is all about. A few buddies not only documenting their fishing adventures but also giving us a glimpse into their strange but real life. WARNING this website is not for everybody. I will not pull up this site up with my seven year old next to me. It is a true blog you never know what they will post next."
For me I would like to note some our special talents,
Alex, amazing with the camera, video making, most of the stuff on here, dedication to catch the fish, the only one of us that is fully literate, and putting up with Kyle's shit.
Aaron, Knowing where and when to fish, ability to drink "copious" amounts of booze, producing amazing yet horribly disturbing body smells, and putting up with Kyle's shit.
And for myself, I am always ready to put my body through a new experiment for research or just for the hell of it.
And to the Fellas at Daily Hunt and Fish, thank you for helping up spread the word!
Due to our enjoyment of fishing, and drinking we have made the top ten best fly fishing websites for the fellas at The Daily Hunt and Fish.
As they say,
"Their fat, their fun, their a bit crude, and they love to fish. This is what blogging is all about. A few buddies not only documenting their fishing adventures but also giving us a glimpse into their strange but real life. WARNING this website is not for everybody. I will not pull up this site up with my seven year old next to me. It is a true blog you never know what they will post next."
For me I would like to note some our special talents,
Alex, amazing with the camera, video making, most of the stuff on here, dedication to catch the fish, the only one of us that is fully literate, and putting up with Kyle's shit.
Aaron, Knowing where and when to fish, ability to drink "copious" amounts of booze, producing amazing yet horribly disturbing body smells, and putting up with Kyle's shit.
And for myself, I am always ready to put my body through a new experiment for research or just for the hell of it.
And to the Fellas at Daily Hunt and Fish, thank you for helping up spread the word!
Truth......
It is said fishing is the sport that will most likely kill you!
Weird.................
I am still alive! RULE!- Kyle
Pepperidge Farm's Golden Bait Fish
Recipe:
Body - Goldfish, cheddar flavor.Hook - Daiichi 2546 Salt Water Hook Size 2/0-4/0
Target Species:
Drunks in the kitchenWith a soft, subtle presentation to the counter top this fly can bring heavy action when the target species is near. The action on this fly is not crucial, in fact you want as little movement as possible or target species will spook. Let them come to you and be patient.
I recommend throwing this fly with 8wt-12wt, depending on the average size of the species of your area. A 15lb-20lb hard mono bite tippet is also a good idea.
Have fun and tight lines,
-A
Update: I have gotten a few emails and calls regarding this fly and others for different targeted species. Due to the interest the research team at FGFF has been called back to the lab for further, round-the-clock analysis of a few other patterns and concepts. The reports and research will be posted as soon as it is available. Thank you. -A
The hits just keep coming...
The woman behind the counter generally wouldn't give you too much shit, and that was all right.
It was a place to go. A place to stumble when you needed that last 6-pack, 40oz, can of cope, taquito or thirstbuster. A place where you knew you could make it back because it was a line-of-sight deal and no matter how hopeless you felt you could always see your way home, even if crawling tore a hole in your bag and you lost your peanut M&M's somewhere along the way.
It was the place across the street, the store, the K, or the market (if you grew up in some backward-ass place).
Whatever you called it, it's gone. Goddammit.
The second let down of the new year.
It was a place to go. A place to stumble when you needed that last 6-pack, 40oz, can of cope, taquito or thirstbuster. A place where you knew you could make it back because it was a line-of-sight deal and no matter how hopeless you felt you could always see your way home, even if crawling tore a hole in your bag and you lost your peanut M&M's somewhere along the way.
It was the place across the street, the store, the K, or the market (if you grew up in some backward-ass place).
Whatever you called it, it's gone. Goddammit.
The second let down of the new year.
the usual
I walked into the Golden Nugget and Holly seemed happy to see me. She had begun to walk out from around behind the bar as I opened the door, headed for the Scratchers vending machine but when she saw me she twisted on her heel and flowed back behind the wood and spun me a napkin. She had won $500 a few weeks ago and she can't seem to stay away from it, she said.
It is cash only and I had $10 in my pocket, plenty at the Nugg, or so it used to be.
"Holly," I said, "I got ten bucks and I need something strong." She leaned over the bar and fetched the usual. I slapped the money down as she poured the Yukon Jack into the shot glass. It was a good pour. It's always a good pour at the Nugg. As she walked to the register she paused. "Umm," she began, "it looks like they changed the prices for 2011. Yukon is now $6.50."
Six fifty? It used to be three fifty, or four, I can't remember but ten dollars used to be enough to get started, at least, and a beer back is little consolation.
The first let down of the new year.
On a better, more in-tune note, the new BloodKnot is out. Represent.
It is cash only and I had $10 in my pocket, plenty at the Nugg, or so it used to be.
"Holly," I said, "I got ten bucks and I need something strong." She leaned over the bar and fetched the usual. I slapped the money down as she poured the Yukon Jack into the shot glass. It was a good pour. It's always a good pour at the Nugg. As she walked to the register she paused. "Umm," she began, "it looks like they changed the prices for 2011. Yukon is now $6.50."
Six fifty? It used to be three fifty, or four, I can't remember but ten dollars used to be enough to get started, at least, and a beer back is little consolation.
The first let down of the new year.
On a better, more in-tune note, the new BloodKnot is out. Represent.
January Daydream
We keep it cold in the house. The lowest our thermostat can be set is 50 degrees and that's where we keep it. Last night the heater kicked on.
I enjoy the winters in the desert, but today I was dreaming of somewhere else.
last minute tune-ups
I heard the dryer running as I walked to the back of the house with a wet load of laundry in my arms. Kyle was kneeling down near the exhaust vent that pumps warm air into the walled back patio.
"You got much time on that load?" I asked as I approached.
"There is nothing in there," he said. "I am drying the heads on my flies."
I looked around the basket in my arms and saw he was holding something long and fuzzy up to the vent.
"That's kind of a waste, dontcha think?"
"Well, we don't have a hair dryer."
"I have a heat gun."
"That will ruin the fibers," he said as he wiggled the flies in the hot air.
"You don't think that running the dryer on high with nothing in it to dry your flies is a waste of energy?"
He scratched his bald head and looked up, "Well, at least I am doing two at once."
...
The truck is about half packed, and food items need to be bought but at least my floor is clean. I remembered to pack my ball warmers this time.
I feel ready, and the lakes wait about 5 hours away. I just hope the pike are still feisty enough to come out and play.
It has been years since I have been snowed on while fishing, and I am kinda looking forward to it.
"You got much time on that load?" I asked as I approached.
"There is nothing in there," he said. "I am drying the heads on my flies."
I looked around the basket in my arms and saw he was holding something long and fuzzy up to the vent.
"That's kind of a waste, dontcha think?"
"Well, we don't have a hair dryer."
"I have a heat gun."
"That will ruin the fibers," he said as he wiggled the flies in the hot air.
"You don't think that running the dryer on high with nothing in it to dry your flies is a waste of energy?"
He scratched his bald head and looked up, "Well, at least I am doing two at once."
...
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| vacuum dubbing |
I feel ready, and the lakes wait about 5 hours away. I just hope the pike are still feisty enough to come out and play.
It has been years since I have been snowed on while fishing, and I am kinda looking forward to it.
Dropping Off Flat Tops
Driving north on I-10 in Alex's truck, dropping off some kitchen gear that was borrowed:Kyle- Damn it's starting to get chilly, If we go on winter trips in the mountains and such it might be snowing, I think I better hit goodwill and other thrift stores to get some warm clothes.
Alex- Dude, you lived in Colorado for 2 years and spent time in the bone chilling winters, what happened to your warm clothes from Colorado?
Kyle- I got fat.......er
Simon's package gets chummy
...in case you weren't paying attention. Best comment goes to Salmotrutta, "I'd hit it."
FYI - I have more of these Jager panties, so if you promise to do something funny with them I will send you one.
Uh, and you should totally not look at this side ball.
lucky lucky lucky bastard guy.
1) Lucky lucky lucky bastard guy gets drawn for muzzleloader Antelope (hard to do) and blasts one.
2) Lucky lucky lucky bastard guy also gets drawn for early season bull elk tag (almost impossible to do) and on the first day shoots himself a 7x6 trophy bull. (estimated 340 point range)
then...
3) Lucky lucky lucky bastard guy still has vacation time so he decides to spend some time fishing on the Black River and snags a 30in, 13.64lb brown.
...loss for words.
Read story here....
Update: local sources tell me that this fish was named "Bippie" and used to like to dine on bread and cold cuts.
RIP Bippie.
2) Lucky lucky lucky bastard guy also gets drawn for early season bull elk tag (almost impossible to do) and on the first day shoots himself a 7x6 trophy bull. (estimated 340 point range)
then...
3) Lucky lucky lucky bastard guy still has vacation time so he decides to spend some time fishing on the Black River and snags a 30in, 13.64lb brown.
...loss for words.
Read story here....
Update: local sources tell me that this fish was named "Bippie" and used to like to dine on bread and cold cuts.
RIP Bippie.