Want to look like a pro? Lose some weight fat boy.

I like my fishing shirts to be made of lightweight, breathable, water repellent material with neatly zippered pockets in all the right places… but I also would like it not to pop a button if I eat that extra peanut butter powerbar and forget to suck-it-in when crawling out of the boat.

I like my fishing pants to dry quickly and magically transform into shorts in a zip, but “a partial stretch waist for exceptional fit and comfort” does me no good if the only time it is ever partially stretched is when it’s folded in my dresser drawer.

Dickies gives the fat man some love.... Their double knee work pant is available up to a 60-inch waist because they understand that even the fattest of America’s work force should be able to do so in comfort and style, and still have room to go to the bar after work and eat nachos and drink two or three or ten beers.

While fishing might not fall into the same category of labor as rotating tires or fixing milf’s leaky sinks, it still requires a level of comfort for movement and dexterity - for being able to breathe while tying the laces of your wading boots.

Some good manufacturers run small so I don’t mind paying a fat tax*, I just want to have the sizes available. And I know that there is a more-to-love fly fishing fringe watching from the shore wondering when their pants will dry as fast as the undernourished Patagonia advertisement standing next to them.

-Alex who knows it ain’t pretty when one combines gluttony and vanity.

*Fat Tax is the extra $3-$10 you have to pay for sixes over XXL, and has more do to with punishing you for not working out than charging for the extra material.